Memoirs of a Mischief Maker

I could not think of a blunter title for this post.

All right, sometimes I like to take my German Shepherd for a walk to my post office because it’s something like a half mile away and you have to go up and down intense hills because I live in the middle of a mountain. It’s a solid work out for the both of us and takes roughly an hour.

I’m coming out of the post office and I see this guy (mid 40’s) walking towards the door. So I hold the door open for him and he’s smiling and whatever. As he gets closer I notice that he’s blind. He has no eyes, like, where his eyeballs should be is just skin. That’s fine, sometimes shit happens, I get that. The weirdest part was that he didn’t have a walker or a cane or a dog or anything to guide him, he was gripping onto the railing and slowly hobbling up to the door, but still…how is he going to know which P.O box is his and stuff??

Anyways, I’m holding the door for him, he thanks me, looks down at my dog and goes “Wow! That’s a good lookin’ dog!” and I brightly tell him thank you instead of “How the fucking shit do you know that, you wizard with no eyes?” which was exactly how it was said in my mind.

Either those frozen eggrolls I had for lunch had acid in them or that man was an alien. This guy literally had no eyes. It was visibly obvious this man had no fucking eyes.

So that’s what happened to me today, and I still don’t even know what’s going on.

What the hell is going on?