The higher in elevation, the stranger the people get.
I used to live in a town where the elevation was at 9,500 feet above sea level. Imagine you have a flight at an airport that was at sea level. By the time you reach my stupid little gold mining town you can now turn on all of your electronics.
So that’s how high I was. And shit, I knew some characters.
This is a town that literally has not changed its look since the 1800s.
The whole town is weird. You stick a poor community in a valley many miles away from any cities literally on a mountain, it attracts the weird.
There was one kid who was probably 15 who got really drunk and hurled inside my washing machine because he thought it was the toilet.
There was one guy who would wear trench coats and carry his black magic bible around with him. Sometimes he would kiss it.
This place has donkeys. So many donkeys. They cruise around town all they want and they belong to no one. I used to feed them when they came to my backyard.
There was one guy who was in a Mexican gang. He had tattoos on his wrists. He took one of my disposable cameras and shot an unimpressive dick pic with it. I knew it was him because of the tattoos.
There was one girl who had a small hand. A really small hand. She had some sort of condition. She liked to brush my horses.
There was one guy, an ex-con with a beard who gave free tattoos. I almost got one. I was six years old.
There was one kid who was always tripping on ecstasy. His favorite things were flat top hats, the Japanese language, and raves. He was always wearing baggy pants.
There was one guy who loved to steal cars. He would always call my house from jail.
There was another who would babysit me. Instead of giving me barbeque chips in a bowl, he would give me barbeque chips in a cup. When I told him that barbeque chips go in bowls, not cups he would tell me, “Well, now they go in cups.”
There was a fourteen year old boy who raped one of my classmates who he was babysitting. That’s how I found out about sex.
My brother and I used to break into abandoned houses. We would break the windows with rocks and nails.
My elementary school had a hierarchy system during recess. Groups of kids had one leader who decided what the group would do for recess. The leader always chose a beta, a second in command. When the leader of my group moved to Indiana I became the new leader. I told everyone what to do. Every single day.
I almost intentionally murdered the poor girl that lived on my street. I didn’t like her because she couldn’t read.
These were dark times and this was a dark place.
I don’t miss it.